Top 3 questions to ask yourself when you are feeling stuck in your career
I was in my early 30s, nearly a decade into a successful career in advertising when I was confronted with the question, “is this it? Do I really want to spend the next 30+ years doing this?”
Don’t get me wrong, I liked my job. I made a decent income, had opportunities to travel, upward mobility, and yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe this wasn’t what I was meant to do. At first, I started exploring jobs at companies that felt more synergistic to who I was. Perhaps something wellness or mental health might feel more satisfying. But as I began to read the job descriptions and envision myself in the roles, they still felt misaligned. I had a sense that if I took one of those jobs I’d soon find myself back to feeling stuck in my career. It wasn’t until I gave myself permission to take a step back and evaluate what it was I actually wanted and what I was uniquely positioned to do that the path started to become clearer.
I invite you to reflect on three questions that can offer a new perspective on where the career dissatisfaction may be coming from.
1. What is my why? Understanding your career motivation
We have a tendency to move through life on autopilot making decisions that we think are right based on what we’ve been taught, external pressures, or because we feel like it’s the “smart” thing to do. It can be easy to forget to ask yourself why you do what you do. What is motivating you to show up every day? What is it about this job or industry that you connect with? If money weren’t a factor, would you still do what you do now? If not, what would you do instead? These questions can help get to the root of your why.
If you find yourself getting stuck figuring it out, keep asking yourself why. For example, you may answer “because I have to”, well, why do you have to? “Because I need to make money.” Why do you need to make money? “Because I love to travel.” Why do you love to travel? “Because I love the thrill of seeing new places.” So your why may be because it fuels your desire for exploration.
Perhaps yours is more straightforward. Say you work as a labor and delivery nurse because you find deep satisfaction being by someone’s side to support them as they experience this life-changing event.
If the only reason you do what you do is because it pays the bills, that can be okay too, but it gives you some awareness that your job likely isn’t going to be the place you find satisfaction and you’ll need to seek it elsewhere. Or better yet, you can start exploring careers where you may be able to make money and find a bit of fulfillment.
Bringing your why into your conscious awareness without even making any changes can help give your work more meaning. Simply the knowledge that “this job fuels my desire for exploration” for example, can take the edge off as you face each day.
2. When I feel most purposeful during my work day, what am I doing? Uncovering what brings you satisfaction
Give yourself some time to reflect back on the past few days, when did you feel energized or in flow? Maybe there’s a moment when you lost track of time because you were so engaged with a task or perhaps an interaction that left you feeling proud of yourself. This could also be a time when you did the hard thing, had the tough conversation, said no because you knew it was what needed to be done.
During my exploration I noticed that when I was one-on-one with my direct reports talking about their career and finding ways to support them in their goals it gave me tremendous satisfaction. As you think about your answer, if nothing comes to mind, pay attention over the next week and jot down what you were doing when you felt a sense of purpose at work. Notice any trends that surface.
This question can hint at areas of work that you might want to move toward. Even if you don’t want to search for an entirely new job or career, if you know what lights you up, you can identify ways to incorporate more of that in your day to day.
3. What is the career you always said you wanted to do, but never pursued? Exploring what a fulfilling career may be
I think we all have one of these. Maybe a childhood dream or something that piqued your interest but you wrote off because you didn’t want to “start over”. For me, it was psychology. I always said, “if I could go back to undergrad, I would study psychology”. It took me asking myself this question to realize, why couldn’t I? Or at the very least, why couldn’t I explore it? This was what led me back to school to get my Master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling. I was too scared to take the full leap, so I found an online evening program that allowed me to continue working during the day. I figured, if I could put myself through school and keep working, at the end of my degree I would decide what I wanted to do. After all, I wasn’t undoing anything. It turned out to be the decision of a lifetime and it started with a few simple questions.
My guess is that you found this post because you are feeling unsettled in some way. Though the process of finding a fulfilling career can be complex, now is the time to start exploring where that nudge might be pushing you. Taking the step to ask yourself these questions can feel vulnerable. Whether it is in therapy, or on your own, I’m here to support you as you take steps towards a more meaningful, intentional life.
